Farmer's Walk

Today I executed a very long and arduous, yet easy-to-do exercise task.

The Farmer's Walk involves passing along some indeterminate distance with an equal weight in either of your hands. Imagine a farmer carrying two pails of milk, two bails of hay, two cow heads...whichever bucolic or gruesome substitute you care to imagine. It's incredibly simple, but will significantly use muscles you might not even care to acknowledge while walking without any weights. Strong back, good traps, and a firm grip.

Today, I walked 1km with 20kg (a rough estimate based on what I can remember 20kg feeling like, could be more, could be slightly less) of groceries in either hand. This was not easy and I had to rest along the way. As a method of turning this ordinary and completely mundane activity into a regimented exercise, I used the city blocks in my neighbourhood as small tracks or 'sprints.' Each block was about 150m. After each distance i'd set the bags down and squat beside them. Then, lifting with my legs and arms, i'd stand up and do another 1-200m until I was home.

It was actually fairly exhausting, but as the strain on my arms became less and less avoidable, I started to employ little tricks to shift which part of my body was taking the weight. For instance, when I stood back up, i'd raise the bags so that my fists were just about in line or above my navel, and slightly "slouch" (someone with a better vocabulary for fitness can advise a proper word) so that some of the weight was on my biceps, and some was actually on my midsection/core. Made all the difference for the last few blocks.

While on the road, similar activity takes place during loading, which is the first real regimented 'road fitness' that I'd engaged in. Every band member loathes the load, since it involves lugging heavy equipment in and out of small spaces, up stairs, on to stages, off of them, and all the rest with great repetition. For extended misery there are a few variations: The rainy load-in, the short handed load-in, the spite load-in, the leave-before-you-get-arrested speed trial....etc etc. If you are on the road, though, giving a small amount of extra attention to how you're lifting those things that you are lifting actually turns into a great workout.

The Farmer's Walk is best applied to loading in with two guitar heads or two combo amps. The combos are generally heavier since all the machinery (speakers and electronics) are in one box. For an extra challenge, carry two at once up a flight of stairs.

My disclaimer for this exercise in a band, though, is to not try and descend stairs while balancing large amounts of weight. You're not a fireman and/or you have terrible balance; and, at the end of a show you're both tired, and likely intoxicated. Traversing steps with a hundred pounds throwing you off is certain doom. The Kinks and the Who can smash their amps, but we are probably not at liberty to do the same and especially not in the name of a workout. Shame, that.

Merely carrying your groceries might not suffice as an official Farmer's Walk workout, but whenever you're presented with the challenge to carry something weighty for some distance, keep it in mind as motivation ---- if that's your thing. Can be almost any weight. Enjoy (the discomfort of lugging around a bunch of heavy shit in your spare time)!